The Invisible Grip of Shopping Addiction
Shopping Addiction, I'm sure we all are familiar with this term. Most of us don't want to admit we have this addiction, but deep down we are addicted to buying stuffs both online & offline.
I'm no exception to this as well. Given the fact with the rise of Internet, social media, consumer-oriented materialistic society and show-off culture we all are influenced or for the lack of better words "Convinced" that if we don't have this particular item in our lives we are incomplete or without this we won't be happy. We don't even realize that we're so caught up with Instant Gratifications and seeking validation that we think being happy is just one financial transaction away
I remember when I got my first job back in Autumn of 2022, getting my first salary was a thrilling experience. Now that I've recurring money in my bank account I can practically go and buy whatever I want. I still remember the first thrill that I had got when I bought makeup items and clothing items both online & offline, without thinking or looking at my bank balance. I was even using Quick Commerce apps to get things delivered in just minutes. The fun part was in delivery, as to how quickly we are getting those items which we assume will make us happy or feel complete.
Just like how Will Roger once said, "Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like."
Well, in my case Its not like I had people I didn't like or they didn't like me. But thinking about it now I just wonder who was I trying to impress? Since my daily routine was just Wake-up Eat Work then again Eat and Sleep then Repeat. But I felt maybe social media largely had some contributions to it, because on social media feeds where people are getting ready in such fancy ways, I got so hooked and convinced by the idea of putting things on my face all over to look appealing and confident. Walking around with my face painted with foundations, powders, blushes and so many more. That's not where the things end, since I kept getting hooked with how influencers do certain things or say things in a way that I got convinced that I must get those items and follow all their advices/steps to make my makeup appear flawless and look presentable in office. Even though barely anyone in my office cared about how I look or what I wore.
Emotive Retail Therapy Spending
Starting from E-commerce to Quick Commerce Apps, I started treating them as an essential. Lo & Behold if their were discounts or maybe Sales for certain periods or Flash Sales where we get deep discounts & freebies, then shopping at those times felt like Necessity. We all have been there right!!!!
But after I looked at my bank balance, the amount of anxiety that I got when this daunting realization hit me how much I ended up spending. What made things worst was the sheer amount of items that I bought in the name of perceived happiness or free things I got, either didn't work at all or were straight-up bad. Realizing how much money I ended up wasting on things that absolutely didn't give what they promised to do. Like in my case all the serums I was buying and lipsticks which promised to be transferproof and so was the things with eyeliners. Especially the glittery once which burnt the hell out of my eyes. But while I had bought those things the sheer amount of happiness that I had got was no match to now the disappointment that I was experiencing in my current scenarios.
We are no stranger to this feeling when we buy certain things by any means (online or offline) somethings or maybe few things turn out to be good purchase, giving a good bank for our buck while the other turns out to be sheer wastage of money or we realizing that this was a Dumb Purchase.
I remember those nights or days waiting for my pay check or the right time when Sales period or Flash sales would start and I would start filling my cart with random items which I thought or believed that I would need then clicking on "Proceed To Buy" or "Buy Now" or "Checkout" with little bit of guilt thinking about my financial situation. But after receiving those items the joy I'd get would sometime feel it was worthy to spend that money.
The Psychology Behind Retail Therapy
Now before we go towards Psychological aspect let's first try to understand what is Retail Therapy? According to Cleveland Clinic Retail Therapy is when we are shopping primarily with the goal of improving our mood or avoiding difficult emotions. Retail therapy usually involves buying things we want rather than things we need. The Dopamine effect a.k.a the "Feel Good Effect" we get when we're shopping for beauty items, clothing items or electronic gadgets, it's not just the feeling of shopping itself but also the anticipation of getting something new. The same feeling I had when I was doom scrolling through various shopping apps and even websites or even window shopping for that matter. All of these fueled because of this feeling or thought that I can control my current environment and no one can stop me from getting what I want for myself, even though by the end of the day, most of those things are doing nothing but just occupying space in my closet which filled to its brim. Absolutely now no space left to organize.
This Retail Therapy becomes addiction when you want to keep up this "Feel Good Effect", the excitement that comes with getting something new for ourself compounded with following factor such as :
- Having no distinction between what things are needed and what aren't
- Excessive exposure to advertising or time spent on online shopping platforms
- Loneliness or social isolation
- Trauma, abuse, or childhood neglect
- Social pressure or societal norms pertaining to consumerism and materialism
For me it was the combination of second, third and fifth factors. Since I was living alone and I barely had any good friends or huge social circle which I used to see in my office or in the place where I stay. So I became addicted to my phone scrolling or juggling through various apps & Social Media where I was seeing people succeeding in life achieving Financial Freedom, going to places where they never thought they could go. I was experiencing something called Social Comparison Theory coined by psychologist Leon Festinger where I was judging or determining my self-worth based on the people whom I was watching on social media.
Bit by Bit Recovery
Someone told me long ago, usually people upload those kinds of videos/images on Social media where they're happy or are going somewhere or have achieved something or just straight-up show off. No one will post such contents on social media where someone is sad or having "HARD TIME" or going through "BAD PHASE" of life or Hell!! no one will pull up their cameras just to show themselves depressed. Since everyone online are talking about their success stories and no one is talking about their difficult times or their failures. Although, times have changed since people are uploading contents where they're showing their weakness or shedding some tears or maybe showing themselves depressed online. Now I believe this can be a double edge sword, given the fact that on one side some people may empathize with you for all the hardship you're going through and since you're showcasing raw honesty so people value authenticity and by sharing your feelings, someone struggling might feel less lonely, since people connect more with vulnerabilities than perfection but on the other hand, since Social media has blurred the lines b/w self-expression and self-branding making it harder to know if someone's being authentic or being performative, therefore people may think that they're doing all those stuffs just for attention, in both those scenarios if you're someone who's not mentally resilient enough and if you're doing those things and seeing the engagements or reading the comments may even take mental toll on you. Personally, I believe that these things should be kept to ourselves because showing your weakness and/or filming yourself crying then posting them online just opens yourselves to exploitation. Since not everyone will respond kindly and this can distort healing process.
In my case, the very first step was admitting that I've some issues and I need to fix it, so the first thing that I did was to disable my app notification settings whenever I'm notified about any kind of Sales or about any product launch. So that I don't get any FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) effect because of those.
Seeking out help whether professionally or talking to your closed one's isn't a matter of shame. Because we all are humans and everyone makes mistakes but the will to acknowledge them and taking baby steps to overcome the problem and change yourself is another huge victory. Even though I've had only few true friends but atleast they're always authentic to me and they taught me Plan, Budget & Save formula. Most importantly, distinguishing b/w needs & wants. Asking myself these following questions such as:
- How often that thing will be used by me?
- Is that thing under my Budget?
- Do I already have this product with me from another brand or maybe different quantity?
- Is/Are my current product/s finished that I'm restocking that item?
- What purpose will that product serve me in my life? For e.g. if I'm buying a clothe then why am I buying it? Is it because of the color or how many deep pockets it has to hold my thing? How many washes will it survive? How frequently will I be wearing it?
- Is that item bought for indulgent purpose or for Daily use? If indulgent, then how long will it keep me satisfied?
Books Over Bags: Healing Through Reading
Out of all those things which I had loved to buy Impulsively, I still allowed myself to buy books. Because I had love to read since childhood fiction stories, mystery thriller or maybe even horror and even poems. SO I decided to re-ignite that love again since books are portal to another world, since Owning books is the only kind of materialism that grows your mind instead of shrinking your wallet. Although that could be counter-productive if the only thing that you're doing is just buying more & more books just to fill-up your shelf and not reading them. I've even started a Youtube Channel and my Instagram channel where I talk and showcase bookish content, literary gems and book series and about author. I'll be highly obliged if you follow/subscribe to my channel their.
Reading was another way where I curb all my emotional and psychological problems. And there's plethora of studies and people telling their own experience about reading books while sipping on their favorite beverages helping them to unwind and relax whilst learning something new.
Instead of Scrolling through phones in Public I believe Reading books in public places should be Reestablished again. Going to public libraries or book cafes should be the trendiest things instead of consumerism and mindless spending which brings momentary joy but reading books brings us lifetime full of Joy. They've been their with us to enlighten and entertain us for centuries. Even though Audiobooks & Digital books have taken over the physical books.
Just like here by this Instagram user named Bond and Grace :
Tell me your experience about this problem and how you overcame it. I'd love to read your experience. Follow me for more bookish blogs and my life experiences. Don't forget to check out my other socials and also tell me what things resonated with you in my blog
